Starting conversations, meeting people
This was produced by recording a conversation, transcribing it with whisper, then letting ChatGPT clean that up, followed by post editing.
I keep having this converstation with various people about my talent for talking to random people. I was at a birthday party for a friend from work. It ended up being part work party because this person is from out of the USA, and doesn’t have many friends she didn’t met via work. Folks are amazed about how hard it can be to actually meet people these days. I tell people that they whenever they go out, be bold. You don’t have to start with “Hi, I’m ______.” Just say something simple. “I love your earrings… Bitchi’ shirt” It’s about breaking the ice. Yeah, the first half dozen times it’s awkward. But do it anyway. One friend says, well yeah, you’re a Sagittarius, you guys are like that.
She: “Women especially aren’t taught to make the first move.”
I get it. But how’s waiting working out? That’s what I asked her. There’s this thing—I think it came from Landmark—where you go out and collect 50 “no’s.” Just ask people for stuff. Most of the time, they won’t say no. You’ll end up with 30 new contacts before you get close to 50 rejections.
Anyway, if you see someone with a skill you want, or confidence you admire, don’t make it a mystery. Make it a project. Start collecting no’s. Ask for help. Yeah, you could do it yourself, but someone will help you. That’s what people do. And guess what? often they feel good when they get to contribute to somoene so it’s really a win-win.
There are conversation starters. When someone asks where you’re from, don’t say “here” like it’s nothing. Say, “Can you believe I was born and raised in Colorado?” Because most people you meet here weren’t. It’s a minority now. That’s a real conversation starter. Or like my friend, instead of saying “India”, say “northeast India”. Most people have no idea what that even means. Sure, they’ve got an idea about people from India, or England, or whatever, but you can respond in a way that generates questions, and questions lead to conversations, and conversations lead to reall connections.
They’ll ask how it’s changed. You’ll say, “There’s too many of y’all.”
They’ll laugh. But the Colorado thing… Take a room full of random people you’ve grabbed, where everyone’s from. It’s a meaningful question. The natives are in the corner going, “Who are these people?”
Because you don’t always know what to say, maybe make some conversation starters. It doesn’t have to be long but have some questions that are open-ended. Here are a couple of my favories:
- What is really great in your life right now?
- What do you like to do for fun?
- what is there to do around here?
- What’s it like where you grew up?
- “How about them broncos” always works
You never know who’s listening. You never know what connection’s going to stick. I am a loud boisterous person because I like to bring people together and people will turn around and invte themselves into mine. Maybe I have some latent talent, but even with that, I have made points to actively practice them.
I said, “I need to make a video about this.” She said, “You do.”
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